Many cultures have this, but I was not aware of what was happening at the time. On that evening in 2014, it felt like a descent into the underworld. It felt like I was always moving through quicksand…you know the most horrible moment in The Neverending Story? That was what it felt like when I was trying to move through life. So I spent the next 5 years in almost constant agony while trying to teach pre-school and be “Mrs.
#RAM DASS FLICKERY FAITH MOVIE#
I can remember trying to watch a movie with my husband, we had this thing where we’d put the kids to bed by 8p.m., then we’d have coffee together and watch a movie, and I couldn’t even make it 30 minutes before the pain started up again from whatever we had for dinner, and it competed with the all over body pain in the 18 trigger points where they said I likely had fibromyalgia (In 2009, my body decided that I was too happy because I had managed my other genetic conditions so well…that I went back to work full-time and that’s when it hit again). I knew I needed pints of my blood taken for life, so I had gotten used to that from hereditary hemochromatosis and porphyria cutanea tarda, but when the sever stomach pains started, and I was unable to eat, things started going downhill. I would get better for a few years, but then I would relapse. They are 18 months apart and I had been sick, off and on, throughout most of their life. On the evening of my dark night of the soul, my girls were 11 and 12 years old. I would repeat under my breath that I had faith still, but it was the size of a mustard seed and I would talk to my higher power. I felt like I had almost, almost lost all hope. I was then hit with a secondary disease they believed was dormant in my body and then depression decided it wanted to come along and join in.
#RAM DASS FLICKERY FAITH SKIN#
At that point I had a blood disease, a skin disease, a nerve or lymph system type disease, and autoimmune disease and a new genetic disease that slowed down how I processed vitamins and basically everything my body needed to survive.
#RAM DASS FLICKERY FAITH HOW TO#
I had been diagnosed with my 7 th disease earlier in the year and the doctor had said he didn’t know how to help me. Just like drug addiction or alcohol, it tears your soul into tiny pieces. You see illness and pain starts to play tricks with your mind. Now if you are my wonderful friends or family and you are reading this now, it might be a bit hurtful, but at that point in my life, I felt like not one other soul in the entire universe could understand my pain. Was I here on this earth or was I somewhat dead? I wasn’t actually sure anymore. 6 years ago, I was in a place that seemed very foreign to me.
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